An open letter to Indian Telecom providers

I wrote this on May 06, 2013 but just did not have the heart to upload. Now I have a new Reliance account and I find these issues are valid for their network too! Maybe I shall include some links to my discussions which show my frustration.  
Dear BSNL, MTNL, Vodafone - these are three phones I am carry and they are with me when I am traveling. Plus my 3G SIM card in my Tab on which I plan to go to the moon and come back, flying on your dud promises.
You guys have spent crores of rupees of your shareholder money in advertising where you promise lightning fast speeds and all-India connection whereas you should be drowning yourselves in ‘chullu bhar paani’ (handful of water) for the lies and deception that has been unleashed on the millions of subscribers.

We are all suffering in silence only because the judicial process is cumbersome, expensive and painfully slow. I have faced the frustration of dropped calls, non-availability of network, zero G speeds when it should be 3G, no 3G for so many months until I made a number of visits to your store and wrote a stinker online.
Right now I am traveling from Ranchi to Delhi and I am not even half an hour from Ranchi. I was trying to call someone in Mumbai and the connection dropped every one minute on BSNL (Ranchi). I switched to MTNL (Mumbai) and the network was busy. Then I switched to Vodafone (Mumbai) and I face the same problem – call drop every minute.

This is so bloody frustrating – I pay you for services and you cannot even deliver basic stuff. I want to make an "effing" phone call to someone and it is "effing" important and your "effing" etwork is so "effed" up that one cannot have a three minute conversation. And the height is that you "effers" have charged me 60 or 70 paisa for every time I tried to make this call.

What a great con job ! And our clueless CBI and EOW people are running trying to catch the chit fund people – your con is much much bigger with the whole nation being screwed.

You want more … okay I am also on the DNC list and you idiots at BSNL keep sending me SMSes offering me all types of crappy games, songs. At Vodafone I get these crappy sales phone calls everyday and have to abuse them to stop them from calling me.

And yes, Messrs Vodafone and Airtel please do not think you guys have a great service – for the past 9 years there is this one spot at Powai lake (Mumbai) where the call drops. It is so funny – you guys have not yet been able to correct this shitty black hole. And let me also tell you that at a conference I mentioned this problem to some people who head VAS in your organizations (yes your CxOs of VAS) – they were good enough (only) to say that this is not their area or responsibility and that they would inform the concerned person(s). It has been 2.5 years since this disclosure and nothing has happened until last week. NADA !! you understand.

OK, so I am a mango person, living in a banana republic and I travel cattle class in the train or plane. But you must remember that when you walk out of your airconditioned office you are as much a mango as I am. Maybe not your boss, but I don’t think he/she will have a good appraisal during judgment day.

At the end of this diatribe, I must admit that I have no choice in hand. If I walk away from Vodafone, the Airtel or Idea etc is no better. MTNL and BSNL are washouts anyway – they have to still wake up from their PSU cocoon and I hope one fine day they are thrown out of their offices (like their masters).

All I can say in concluding is – "sharam karo"! (have shame) Have a little shame! Showing off that you are world class does not make you world class. If you are shit you stink! And if your system sucks and you do not do anything about it maybe we will build our own network and you can continue to cheat new people.

"Yeh sharap hai" (I cast a spell) on all of you that may you lose connection or not have network on the day and time when you need it most! And may you be using your own company phone which is when you will realize how it feels to be screwed and pay for it.

Happy cheating … and may u burn in hell!

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